Mother and sister insist on visiting hospitalized son in Boston after his surgery to "care for him," but instead turn the trip into a vacation filled with sightseeing, shopping, and a Wicked premiere: 'They were on vacation, not visiting to support me'

Recovering from a major surgery can be extremely daunting, and not something one wants to do alone. Having the comfort and support from family makes the process a lot easier than one may think! So when this man learnt that his mother and sister were flying across the country to lend him a helping hand in Boston, he felt extremely grateful. Until he started to notice something strange…The pair had created a daily itinerary of sightseeing, shopping and even a movie premiere…Not leaving much time to actually do the whole caring for him thing…Had his family turned their trip into a full-blown vacation, using his surgery as an excuse to act like tourists for the weekend!?

What makes it even worse is all the effort he and his wife put into ensuring that they have a comfortable stay while visiting. When clearly the last thing on their mind was his comfort, but rather what happens to Elphaba at the end of Wicked 2…He decided he may have to confront the actions of his mother and sister, but would he take it far enough to kick them out, after flying halfway across the country to 'care for him'?

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  • All the pair did was cause more stress for their son and brother. Leaving a trail of mess behind them as they left for another ‘fun day’ in the city. Meaning that his wife was forced to clean up after them, whilst he was bedridden. It's astonishing how clueless some people can be when it comes to their own behavior. Telling someone you're going to come over to care for them does not equate to bringing them your soggy leftover pancake, and a pair of The Gap socks from your day out on the town…

  • Man recovering from surgery
    via elnur

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • AITAH for kicking my mom out who flew across the country to care for me?

    AITAH for calling out my mom and sister while I was literally in the hospital? I (33M) have been dealing with a pretty brutal 4 month health issue that's resulted in two separate 3 day hospital stays and a recent surgery.
    via kittieat7
  • My wife and I almost never ask for help with anything. So for this most recent surgery, I asked my sister to stay at our place at night to keep an eye on our cat.
    via kittieat7
  • Super simple. She could do whatever she wanted during the day. The only boundary: no having her boyfriend sleep in our bed.
    via kittieat7
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  • This request got pushback, but she reluctantly agreed. We stocked the place with food, wine, snacks, and even left a few little gifts to make it a nice weekend for her.
    via kittieat7
  • My mom couldn't make it to my first hospital stay and made a big deal about how she wouldn't miss this one because she wanted to support us.
    via kittieat7
  • She flew in, they came to visit me, and immediately started talking about all the fun things they planned to do in Boston, shopping, sightseeing, and going to the early premiere of Wicked.
    via kittieat7
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  • I was honestly shocked because I thought the purpose of the trip was to, you know, support their son/brother who was literally in the hospital.
    via kittieat7
  • Mother and daughter looking in their shopping bags
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Meanwhile, my sister kept texting me asking if it was "okay" if her boyfriend slept over.
    via kittieat7
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  • kept saying no, and she kept asking anyway. He still stayed over at the apartment until like 2 a.m.
    via kittieat7
  • multiple nights. Fast-forward to Monday. I recover faster than expected and get discharged early. I show up at home around 10 a.m.
    via kittieat7
  • to surprise them. They act happy to see me, and I (foolishly) thought maybe this meant we'd all hang out, decompress, celebrate that things went well, etc.
    via kittieat7
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  • Nope. They immediately bring up how excited they are for Wicked and how "it's too bad" I can't come because they only bought two tickets.
    via kittieat7
  • Then they headed out for their fun day, while staying in my house, eating my food, using my space, without having cooked a single meal, cleaned a dish, or really helped my wife with anything while I was hospitalized.
    via kittieat7
  • In fact she was left cleaning up their mess. Honestly, it felt like they were on vacation, not visiting to support me.
    via kittieat7
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  • So I finally called them out and said I felt hurt and taken advantage of. Their response?
    via kittieat7
  • Sick man sitting on the couch
    via elnur

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "Wow, that's one way to treat the people who dropped everything, love you and care for you." At that point I was so stunned I didn't even know what to say.
    via kittieat7
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  • So... AITAH for finally saying something? Edit: I told my mom she had to leave on the next flight out.
    via kittieat7
  • Background_System726 NTA. While it's fine to sneak fun stuff in, they seem to have forgotten the actual purpose of the visit and left y'all with more work to do by not cleaning up after themselves
    via Background_System726
  • OP kittieat7 Agreed. Honestly, would have encouraged them to go out just within hours of me getting home when i needed the most help
    via kittieat7
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  • Akot_elderm NTA they dropped everything but those Wicked tickets
    via Akot_elderm
  • OP kittieat7 Not to mention the shopping trip before that...
    via kittieat7
  • Nice_Beans1234 You were in the hospital, you asked for one boundary, your family agreed - then ignored it, you were vulnerable and needed support, and they treated your crisis like a vacation package. Calling out disrespect is not being an asshole, It's setting a boundary you shouldn't have had to set in the first place. "Wow, that's one way to treat the people who dropped everything, love you and care for you." \-Classic manipulative behavior. They are pissed you called out their real intention
    via Nice_Beans1234
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  • OP kittieat7 THIS. You're exactly right, I never thought that would be a boundary I needed to set.
    via kittieat7
  • CentralSterile97 NTA. Your mom didn't help you. I'd say she hindered you, actually. Not only did she not do anything for you, but she added to your wife's plate by making a mess that your wife then had to clean up. This wasn't a vacation like she and your sister seem to think it was. I'm not saying they can't do anything fun while they're there, but the fun stuff does not take priority. You do.
    via CentralSterile97
  • OP kittieat7 We tried to prep everything to make it easier on them, made up a bed, etc. guess they took that and ran with it.
    via kittieat7
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